Poison & Wine
by LucidIridescence
Summary: As the drinks continue to get poured, Touka continues to throw them back. She can't help but feel a wave of loneliness amidst the lively crowd in a Kami dorm. Trying to calm the dizziness of her mind, she leaves, wandering the empty streets. Touken/ Im gonna rate this M to be on the safe side/ Angsty but slow build/ Follows Root A
1. Chapter 1

After a few cycles of drinking &amp; trying to keep her spirits high for the celebration of the upcoming year, Touka stumbles home from a party at Kami. Yoriko proceeds to follow her

friend who is drunkenly screaming for Kaneki to show himself but loses her when she begins to run down the empty dark street. Continuing with her relentless chant for him to

appear, she begins to express all the things that have been eating her up inside about him and her life and the people she's lost. _'It's me, isn't it?! Why can't you stay for me?!'_,

she repeats in a drunken howl. She finds herself completely lost in a park illuminated by post lights. She stumbles through the park believing that's the way to her apartment.

As she reaches the end of the park she notices a figure waiting at the exit. "Did you call for me?" the male figure under the post light asks her. Her haze makes it hard for her to

make out who it is until he turns to look at her with solemn grey orbs. "You shouldn't be out alone", he continued, "Especially, not piss drunk". He came closer, so close she

could catch his scent. He placed his hand to her cheek and brushed her swaying hair behind her ear. She pulled away from his hand &amp; bit her lip a little. "Don't tell me how to

act. I'm old enough to manage myself", she spat angrily. Clearly flustered he had actually appeared, she tried to take off but was quickly stopped by the grabbing of her arm. He

pulled her into him and took in a whiff of alcohol and pomegranate scented perfume. "Let me take you home", he persisted. She intensely stared at him for a while until her

phone went off. A text from Yoriko appeared on her screen, "did you get home safely? Text me or call me! You shouldn't leave like that!". Touka replied back quickly letting her

know everything was okay, she was safe and sorry for leaving so abruptly. She sighed, unsure of how she wanted the rest of her night to go. She was so done with feeling alone

but didn't want Kaneki coming in and out her life as he pleased. Too wasted to deny his pleading eyes and iron grip, she agreed to let him walk with her…

_**Ok, so that's the 1st part to an idea I got for Touken while stoned.**_

_**Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.**_

_**There's a completed 2nd part on my tumblr.**_

_**If you don't have a tumblr, I will be posting the 2nd half on here.**_

_**Probably, by tomorrow depending on feedback.**_

_**So, be sure to let me know in the comments. **_

_**Thank you again.**_


	2. Chapter 2

She stammered as fast as she could in front of him. He watched as she clumsily but angrily walked ahead of him. He curiously looked on at the girl in front of

him. She seemed different tonight, not her demeanor or the fact that she was a shot away from wasted, but the way she was dressed. Her skin-tight pencil skirt

made it hard for her to keep up the pace &amp; for the first time he saw her every aspect. Her slim waist which curved into her rounded backside. He didn't intend to

have such thoughts plunder his mind but he hadn't had a good look at her in over two years. The 21 year old in front of him was no longer a girl, he realized,

but a blossomed woman. Kaneki's intentions were nothing more than to get her home &amp; make his way back to the Aogiri hideout. He knew his absence would

become obvious and problematic if questions arise. Seeing her like this also gave him a tinge of sadness. Looking ahead, paying absolutely no intention to

Kaneki, Touka slowly started pulling back her layers. She slipped her arms out of her jacket and dropped it to the ground. 'Does she really hate me? I just can't

seem to get her to understand that I just need this. I want her to live her life, happily. Her safety means everything to me', Kaneki pondered. Continuing her

sluggish stride, she thought of all the things she really wanted to say to him, no longer able to hold in her intoxicated frustration, she whipped around. "Why

don't you fuck off? I'm tired of playing games with you! You make me into this poor little girl who needs you. I don't need you, I don't need anyone!". Kaneki

slowly crouches to pick up her jacket &amp; continues to follow her. "Why did you call for me, then? And I do not, Touka. I care about you, that's all", he tried to

reconcile. She trips in her Doc Martens, barely holding herself together now, "Why did you come, then? Stop playing games, Kaneki." At this point, they made it

to the front entrance to her studio apartment. As Touka struggled to get her key in the door, her swaying became violent. Kaneki slithers a hand to her waist to

keep her up. The warmth of his palm creeps up Touka's spine, a wave of sadness &amp; longing encroach upon her already heavy heart. She slowly turns to him,

only to meet his already close &amp; attentive gaze. "K-Kaneki…", she starts but can't complete her thought. He's already too close to spew anymore influenced

hate. "You don't hate me. You're just hurt, I get it. I take complete responsibility for your pain, Touka. Just know my intentions are good." His words left her a

little speechless but she quickly mustard up the correct response. "Your intentions should be to stay here, with me." She confessed. Touka continued to unlock

the door, "Come in". He sighed but followed her lead into the apartment. They slowly ascended the staircase making little to no noise. The minute she closed the

door, she began to slip off her clothes in a drunken wobble. "…" Speechless, he just watched. Darkness washed over the room, only the moonlight seeping into

the indie-styled apartment. The moon kissed her porcelain skin as she pulled her tucked in band tee out of her tight skirt. Touka proceeded to tiptoe across the

room to the floor lamp. As she floated pass, he noted the way her underwear complimented her petite frame, perfectly. She plopped down onto her bed,

allowing her arms and legs to spread out and embrace the comfort of her bed-throw and pillows. Kaneki stood in silence, staring around her room. "Relax", she

said, "You're so tense, these days". She sat up to see what was preoccupying his mind. He was panning through her collection of books on the shelves with

wandering eyes. He took her advice and slowly unzipped his black jacket, exposing a black v-neck, hugging his now lean frame. Touka stood, facing her record

player. She turned it on to the sound of She &amp; Him/Unchained Melody. "You read now?", he questions. "Mostly for Kami", she replies, "Some of those are yours

…that you left at Anteiku", she confirmed. His eyes shoot to hers and he holds her purple irises. She stands and walks over to where he is in front of the shelves,

slipping her small but curvy frame in front of him to browse for herself. He lifts his hands to her shoulders &amp; takes his time dragging his slender fingers down her

arms. Kaneki brings his face close to the left side of hers, when he notices bruises atop her shoulder blades. "When did you get these", his voice turned dark and

concerned. She reaches for the spot he's ghosting his hand over, "Oh, that's nothing. I got caught as Rabbit one night by a couple of young investigators", she

replies. He takes her by the waist and makes her face him. He slowly slithers his hands passed her hair and onto her cheeks, "You refuse my protection but can't

stay out of harms way!", he says viciously, staring into her. "I'm…I'm not ready to lose you too…", she states as she's searching for his response in his eyes.

Kaneki leans his head to hers &amp; holds her intensity, "You won't, you never have. I just need you to let me do this. I want you to understand," he breathes out

slowly but steadily. Touka knows his heart is in a good place, she always has. She hoped that she would get him here and change his mind, maybe even get him

to stay this time. "I believe in you", she huffed. Kaneki could hear her holding back tears and began to stroke her head, "Touka, I-I…", he stammered, "Please,

don't cry". He inched his hand down her back and with a bit of force, pushed her lower back so that her frame would crash into him. She could now feel his

warmth &amp; his smell, intensified. "I…miss this smell", she confessed. Her soul could have leaped out of her body with how at ease she was when she was close to

him. Kaneki let his worries slip his mind for this moment, just this once. 'For her…'

_**Okay, so this is Chapter 2...**_

_**I think I gave a lot more for this one**_

_**I hope you thoroughly enjoyed it.**_

_**I realized the plot is a little strange but I'm going **_

_**to see where it takes me.**_

_**I would appreciate feedback**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3

The clock on the wall slowly ticked, following behind the drumming of rain hitting the window. "You're beautiful, Touka-chan", Kaneki whispered. Her cheeks tinted peach from

the dim mostly from his sweer words and the dim lighting. She couldn't avoid the tickle of his lips to her ear and his breath on her pulse. His height over hers was obvious now

at 23. Watching with tired eyes, he looked down at the small girl,he could tell she was a bit at peace in his arms. She could be pretty tense sometimes too, especially with him.

Kaneki was her favorite &amp; least favorite subject all at the same time. The last two years have been nothing but trying to find the best distraction. For Touka, it was mostly

school, taking whatever shifts available at the coffee shop &amp; doing whatever Yoriko said would be fun. She feels fine until she's lain on her bed for too long or she's sat in the

bath for too long. Kaneki was almost always performing missions for Aogiri, giving him no time for thought. In between the smaller of missions, he would find himself wondering

what she was up to and how things were going for her at Kami. After a year &amp; a half of relentless battling, these thoughts turned into longing; longing for her perfect cup of

coffee at the one place he could call home. As for Touka, it was more reminiscing on the last time the two of them saw each other. She wasn't sure if she was more hurt that he

left or that he had the courage to. The two found something to love about the other with all the time apart, though, whether it be Kaneki's smell or the way Touka's nose would

scrunch up when she was irritated. Kaneki let himself become a little selfish for a moment &amp; succumb to his longing to just touch her. His hands found purchase at the top of her

shoulders once more, pushing the lacy strap of her bra off. Touka takes in a slow breath, still feeling the waves of intoxication. The taste of raspberry from that last shot lingered

on her tongue. She slowly brought her delicate palms up the cotton of his shirt, feeling the firmness of his chest underneath. "Wow…", her current state couldn't stop the word

from flowing right out of her mouth. Kaneki looked down at her, taking in her appearance &amp; smirked a bit at her clearly unintentional remark. He had to admit he did appreciate

the honesty. Touka slowly took in his every feature. She studied his sharply outlined collarbones, to his long, firm neck, to his kissable pout which finally lead to his eyes which

gleamed grey but with more life to them now. Kaneki continued slipping her out of her bra, taking his other hand and letting that strap fall off her shoulder as well. He leaned in

and planted a soft kiss upon her thin lips. He could taste what she had that night. "You're having the full college experience, huh?" Kaneki enquires; pondering what else college

life has her doing… She lets the kiss linger before she pulls back to respond, "I'm enjoying every single moment! I'm the life of the party, Ken!" she chants while throwing her

hands in there. He's never seen such a smiley Touka and he can't help but wonder if this is her speaking. She walks over to change the record to something of a lighter tune. As

she waltzes back over to him, she slips her skinny arms around his neck. "Where were we?" she grins affectionately at him. He picks back up, reaching his hands up her back.

Kaneki unhooked her bra with his first attempt. Touka inhales a sharp breath as the air hits her chest. She lets her arms slack, allowing the garment to hit the ground. She looks

up to him in approval, already catching his eyes directed straight at her bare breasts. She grins at his admiration. She finds this to be the perfect moment to make her way to

the bed; a test of sorts. Kaneki, as she expected, followed not far behind. Before she places her knee to climb on, he grabs her shoulder and presses himself up right behind her

&amp; whispers lowly in her ear, "You're driving me crazy but you know that, don't you?" She smirks to herself knowing that her drunken intentions have been exposed. "I can't deny

that I don't, so how about you join me &amp; I'll put your mind at ease?", she purred. Kaneki could feel his chest tightening &amp; his mind becoming high with desire. He needed her in

the worst way. He wasn't sure of anything accept the fact that Touka was luring him into bed with her and resistance wasn't on his mind… 'Just tonight'

_**So, this is Chapter 3.**_

**_Honestly, had a lot of fun with this and Chapter 2._**

**_I think this is a good followup._**

**_I wanna keep you guys wondering ._**

**_Reviews and comments would be much obliged._**

**_Thank you for reading._**


	4. Chapter 4

Touka slightly arched her back at the feeling of his frame against hers. She could feel everything, from his slender build down to his growing desires. She blushed, and bowed

her head in an attempt to hide her wave of tingency. Kaneki had the ability to make her shutter at the slightest of gestures. His words came out slow &amp; alluring, "Be a good girl

&amp; let me handle the rest". "I can't promise I will keep my hands to myself though…", Touka states with the same haze in her voice. Kaneki glides his right hand down the curve

of her side, then to her hip where her panties are still intact. With the faintest of touch, he guides them off her rounded ass, taking his time doing so, watching them hit the

floor. Touka paid close attention to the rhythm of his breathing and the sound of him unzipping his pants. Touka wanted to play with him before he had his way with her.

Suddenly, she's slowly guiding herself to the floor by his legs, onto her knees. She lowly hummed the tune from the record player as she gracefully placed herself in front of

Kaneki's head &amp; slip his pants from his frame along with his underwear. Completely caught off guard, Kaneki stands frozen. He hadn't mentally prepared himself for her, not like

this anyway. He starts to feel his cheeks warm up as she unleashes her warm breath onto the tip. Touka let her tongue roll over it a few times before fully indulging herself with

him. Kaneki's grunts started to become audible to Touka and she became bold. She picked up the pace so she could pleasure him more, finding happiness in his. Kaneki couldn't

help but place his right hand in her hair, guiding her sucking. "Mm, Touka", he grunted. Kaneki found this to be a good moment to check out his view. Below him was Touka

bobbing her head back and forth, looking right back at him with her hands placed on her lap. So pleased with herself, she slowed down, allowing the taste of him drip on her

tongue. Touka liked how his body was succumbing to her and abruptly stopped. Her body couldn't be more prepared for him. Kaneki stared down at the girl. No longer patient,

he took initiative and guided the rest of her onto her mattress. She turned to face him, wanting a full picture of him and what was occurring. Still dealing with the slight blur, she

can't help but love the way he's looking back at her. Kaneki climbs on top, hovering above her, placing his arms beside her face for security. He doesn't break his concentration

as he guides his eyes from her touching thighs all the way to her gorgeous face being perfectly framed by her purple locks. "Can I, Tou-ka-chan~?" he whispered. She nodded

once in approval. Kaneki slowly adjusted himself and introduced himself to her entrance, teasing at first by only allowing the head to feel her moisture. He then fully indulged his

8-inches, causing Touka to gasp harshly and whipped her head to the side to avoid his stare. She bit her lip, knowing Kaneki would try to get that reaction or better out of her

again. Kaneki started to steady his rhythm, watching the waves of pleasure wash over Touka's face. He enjoyed how he was pleasing her and fastened his pace. "AH! Kane-", he

waited to hear the rest with no avail. "Say it", he grunted. Her eyes shot open, enjoying his words. "No", she teased, "make me". A dark grin grew across his face. Kaneki took

this as a challenge. He pulled out from her tight wetness and with a bit of strength turned Touka over. She was now face down in the pillows. She lay there waiting for him to

thrust in completely. Instead, Kaneki went achingly slow, making her throw her head back in complete ecstasy, unable to play it off any longer. He held her hips firmly as he slid

in and out as fast as physically possible. "KA-KANE-",Touka choked. "Say it, Tou-ka~", Kaneki egged her on. All she could muster up were moans, one after another. "AHHH,

KANEKI-KUN", she bit her lip, hair sticking to her face from sweat. "That's my girl", playfulness in his voice, "next, ill teach you how to call me daddy but for now, I wanna make

love to you". He guides her waist to turn her back to facing him. "I like seeing your face more", he admits. Kaneki's white locks hung over Touka's cheeks. Her legs quivered at

his heat on her, wishing she could somehow be closer. He guided himself back into her, enjoying how tight she was and how she easily let him slide right back in. His mind would

never be able to un-see Touka in such a compromising position. Kaneki lays his head right next to hers, appreciating her passion up close. He finds the crook of her neck

enticing, placing moist lips at the beginning of where her neck and shoulder meet. Touka shivers at his touch and Kaneki wonders if this is a spot of sensitivity for her. He

teasingly starts to kiss around that spot, hearing breathy moans escaping her mouth. Kaneki still at a steady pace continues his game with Touka. His teeth sink into her neck,

and in that moment he felt her moisten around him. Thrusting further, he could hear how slick her walls were, making it hard for him to hold back any longer. Kaneki starts to

feel himself getting ready to uncoil.

_**Here's Part 4**_

_**It didn't take me as long to write because of **_

_**how exciting this chapter is. **_

**_Lol, anticipate more._**

**_Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter._**

**_As always, favorites, follows &amp; reviews are much obliged._**

**_I really appreciate the love3_**


	5. Chapter 5

Touka's hooded gaze couldn't break from the sight of him. She unintentionally took note of how he only got better looking with age. She loved the man who initially entered the

coffee shop &amp; her life but found fire from the passion between her and this new man. Touka didn't know how much she could lust after his delicate touch on her frame &amp; his lips

to her neck. The ecstasy building became undeniable as she bucked her hips in pleasure. "Ahhh~", she sighed as he ventured deeper. Kaneki pushed himself up by his arms to

get a better view. Her moans in his ear became too much &amp; he needed to see his handy work. He watched on as her toes curled underneath, sending shocks up her spine,

causing her body to convulse and her screams to silent. A grin grew across Kaneki's face, knowing she'd never expose herself like this, only to him. That thought gave Kaneki

pride. His thrusts became too much for Touka's body. Her spasms became uncontrollable as he lowered himself to nibble and bite on her sweet spot. 'How did we get here' she

thought. The heat pooled into her core causing chills between her thick thighs. Her body was sweating cool droplets as her legs moved on their own accord &amp; her hands

ventured. She dug her nails in his muscular back, begging for release. One last sigh of pleasure escaped Touka's lips and that sent Kaneki over the edge, unleashing all of him

into her. Kaneki breathlessly said her name to assure himself this had happened. Her heavy panting started to ease at the sound of Ken's voice. Touka opened her eyes slowly to

the sight of glazed silver irises and illuminated white locks. She loved his admirable expression, forming a small smile on his lips. She caressed the sides of his face with delicate

palms and brought her face to his for a sweet kiss. "Stay", she murmured. All Kaneki could do was stare, realizing he had already overstayed his visit. "Touka, I-" interrupted by

her lips finding his again. She had heard enough. He wasn't leaving, not again, not like this. Touka feared this, becoming his "call girl". She knew she meant more to him but the

feeling of being cheap and easy still lurked. Touka couldn't let go, no. "Stay..", she repeated herself hoping for a new reaction. Kaneki softened his gaze, giving into her once

again. He couldn't bare to see the hopelessness in her eyes as he did when he left. He let his worries slip away. His hands took their time exploring her every curve. Touka

allowed herself to succumb to his touch, sighing. 'This is bliss.', she incurred. {I'll do right by you} were the lyrics subtly playing in the background. Her hands above her head,

body pinned perfectly beneath his. Soon behind her bliss came exhaustion. The last flicker of Touka's eyelids revealed Kaneki ever-so sweetly brushing her hair, eyes ajar.

'Is this love?'

_**Part 5**_

_**I hope this chapter was satisfying after such a long wait.**_

_**Laptop was broken.**_

_**But once again, if you can't wait for the next chapter,**_

**_I update pretty often on my tumblr._**

**_xoxo_**


	6. Chapter 6

Despite being severely hungover from the previous night's events, Touka had dragged herself out of bed from under the warmth of Kaneki's frame. Kaneki shifted to lying on his

stomach when her tiny figure was no longer propping him up. Touka rubbed the sleep from her sight and slowly strutted to the bathroom to clean herself up a bit. She stared,

still recollecting. The mess of her sticky purple locks cling to her cheeks &amp; neck. Her frame was being hugged by boy shorts and a large sweatshirt that probably wasn't hers. The

sweatshirt hung off her shoulder, exposing her collar. A light blush dusted over her face from ear to ear as she studied her reflection. 'Kaneki and I…', she thought. She placed

her left palm to her nude shoulder, releasing her breath. A smile formed for just a moment until she realized how long all of this wasn't and how little time she really had with

him. Touka had accepted what was faith but decided it wasn't important as of right now. She splashed her face with warm water, dried it with a towel and gave her cheeks a bit

of a slap to shake her constantly running emotions. By the time she came back out of the bathroom, Kaneki had been awake, propping himself up by his forearms.

"Goodmorning, Touka", Kaneki said in the most seductive of sleepy voices. The blood rushed to her face, "Goodmorning", she hesitantly replied. Touka bowed her head and

ascended once more towards the kitchen. She wasn't sure if eye contact was such a good idea right now since her emotions were still running high. Hunger started to replace

her thoughts. "Are you hungry?", she yelled across the room, her focus was on the cabinets she was opening in search of pancake mix or at least cereal. "I am", a low whisper

directly in her ear, a single exhale blowing her hair to the front of her face, sending chills down her spine. Kaneki snaked his hands around her waist and nuzzled his face closer.

"Though I should be going…", he continued. Touka's face still read shock from him being so close, so unexpectedly. Her expression began to soften as she realized this might be

goodbye &amp; probably for a while. She allowed her locks to sway in her peripherals, unprepared to see that constant sadden expression of his. "You're always welcome…here that

is", Touka mustered. Kaneki could sense her agony, she was too easy for him to read now. He took her hand and turned her frame, facing him now. "I won't be gone as long this

time…I got a few things to take care of but I can promise you-" "Don't…promise…", she interrupted, "just come when you're ready". Touka's face softened, proud of the fact that

she got her thoughts out properly. Kaneki's lips were inches from her forehead, his breath tickling the skin. He allowed his lips to crash into her. 'I'll never be able to stay away

like this'…

_**So, Chapter 6.**_

**_Once again, short but sweet _**

**_I think two chapters were well awaited._**

**_Thank you for reading._**


	7. Chapter 7

"_**I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EMERGENCY!**_" Touka belted as she proceeded with cleaning her closet of an apartment. Yoriko accompanied Touka in her apartment, dancing along

to the tune while whipping up new meals for Touka. When Yoriko had discovered Touka was very much so a ghoul, she made it a point to help her friend &amp; discovered a perfect

way to contribute the elements she needed as a ghoul and the nutrients of certain foods. Today, Yoriko was making Touka _'Chicken Curry'_ while Touka went on about all the

things she was feeling. "I don't get him", Touka started, "He just comes and goes as he pleases". Touka swept the dust from her mahogany floors, roughly, "Well, what

happened?" Yoriko enquired. Touka huffs at this question, unsure how to summarize the whole night. "Well, he somehow found me last night, he escorted me here and well… I

let the alcohol get the best of me and instead of making him go away…he stayed…" was all Touka could muster up as a easy response but Yoriko is too good with context clues,

"Kirishima Touka, Did you sleep with him? After all he has put you through-" "Yoriko! It's not like that! Well, it is but I can't say I regret it… plus, I initiated the whole thing."

Touka interrupted trying to take Kaneki out of a bad light, as usual. She knew how desperate it probably made her sound to Yoriko but in a sense, Touka was in fact desperate.

Her desperation stemmed from countless nights alone, the sheer idea that he could quite possibly disappear without a single trace, leaving her behind. Her face fell solemn when

she spoke, "I could sense his stress…I wanted to ease his pain". Yoriko huffed knowing how hard her friend had fallen. It was never hard to read Touka but most of the time,

with Yoriko, Touka was upfront about the things she was feelings, especially when Kaneki was involved. Touka turned down the volume of her stereo &amp; proceeded into the

kitchen where Yoriko was. She stood next to her, bowing her head, trying once again to hide the sight of her tearful eyes. Touka clenched the surface of the counter, grasping

nothing but forming two small fists. Yoriko looked to her right in time to watch a single tear fall from Touka's glossy eye. "Be patient, I think you made his decision a lot easier

by at least forgiving him for leaving in the first place", Yoriko placed her palm to Touka's small waist. "You're right", Touka's voice shook with uncertainty. Yoriko pulled Touka

into her side, soothing her best friend. " I'm trying and I hope he will as well…this time", Touka stated. 'I know things are complicated but can't this just be simple?' her thoughts

roamed. Yoriko went back to cooking, completing Touka's meals for the week. "Thanks again, 'Riko", Touka was hopeful, "for everything". "Of course, love. Though, I got to get

to this Western History course I'm taking but I'll come by later!" Yoriko reassured. Touka escorted her out, hugged her friend and stood in the doorframe, watching her friend go.

'She's right, I should have waited with him but time has never been on our side.' She turned to walk back into her apartment when she heard the slightest of exhales within the

hall that stopped her movement for a moment. Touka turns around, scanning her surroundings. She rests her thoughts and goes back into her loft. Kaneki sulked to the

concrete of the sidewalk outside of the small building, _'I hope I didn't complicate things…'_

**_Here's Chapter 7...a little soon_**

**_Don't get accustomed to that though_**

**_I've just been backed up with chapters_**

**_I hope you guys are still enjoying it _**

**_Comments, likes &amp; reviews are always appreciated._**

**_Thanks again for reading. _**

**_All my love_**


	8. Chapter 8

_Click, Clack_

Touka rounded the corner in her tiny business pumps, hands full of unmarked grocery bags. She had just finished a long day that started with school and ended with

filing away as the receptionist at a law firm. Tiny ear buds blasting her favorites had drowned the constant chatter around her. She needed this, just a moment not to

think. Her thoughts, even during her busy schedule, had been consumed with him. Kaneki hadn't reached out much but when he did, it was short conversations on the

phone, starting with 'I miss you' or 'I needed to hear your voice'. He told her to wait and of course that's what she's doing but Touka has always known time isn't on

their side nor will it be. But for right now, the quiet of her thoughts was comforting.

_Him_

She approached her hole-in-the-wall loft, struggling to get the key in. "Ugh!" she growls as she starts to drop the load in her right hand. Swiftly, two hands start to

support the weight and clutch her waist amidst her struggling. "Let me give you a hand", slowly ascending up from the ground where she almost collapsed. Meeting his

gaze as they both rose, her cheeks warmed. "Wha-what are you doing here", she tried to sound warm. She ripped the ear buds out, listening intently for his answer.

"I…promised", was the best answer Ken could muster. Touka stared at his glistening orbs, her view partially obscure by swinging locks of black. Kaneki gently tucked the

bangs behind her ear, exposing her blushed cheeks and mesmerized expression. She could easily fall in love with this kid all over again just by looking at him. She noted

the way the wind swept his hair and the light softening his gaze. "C-could you just help me inside with these?" Touka finally spoke. He nodded and followed her dainty frame.

_Us_

Once Touka finally bursted through the front door to her apartment, she plopped the bags on the floor. "I'll be right back", she announced as she rushed off to her

bathroom. Kaneki didn't even have an opportunity to get in a word before she already disappeared around the corner and down the small hallway. Slamming the door

behind her, she took a deep breath and sank to the floor. '_Call Yoriko'_ is what her instincts told her and so she did. The sound of constant ringing was about to send

Touka over the edge and right before she prepared herself to end the call, Yoriko answers in a sing-songy voice, "Toukaaaaaa~, what up?" "He's here…" is all Touka

could come up with but she knew Yoriko would understand what she meant. "Ooh, is this a bad or good thing?" the small blonde questioned. "Are you high? What do you

think? I'm panicking. What do I do? What do I say? Yoriko!" Touka whined in the most pitiful voice. "Maybe! And okay, okay chill. Put on some perfume, fluff your hair

and go back to him. Everything will be fine". Touka sighed as she contemplated the words coming from her best friend. "Okay…thanks." Touka huffed. She ended the call

and stood with more confidence in her demeanor. The young woman took a moment to just take in her features in the mirror. She unhooked the hair that was still

tucked behind her ear by Ken, smiling at the thought of him. Just as Touka mentally prepared herself to walk back out, she slapped her cheeks after discovering how

hard she was blushing. _ 'I can do this '_ she kept reminding herself. When she got back to the kitchen, the groceries had been put away and Kaneki was comfortably

reading at the island on a stool. "Is everything okay?" he questioned, giving her a slide glance. He studied her features, looking for an answer. "Yeah, how about you? I

don't mean to be blunt but why are you here? You haven't been here in weeks and I assumed…" she trailed off in thought. "I thought I was always welcomed? Also, I

came to give you something", he stated. He reached into his khaki pants pocket and pulled out a tiny blue box. Touka's face fell from its usual composure, analyzing any

possible reason for a small blue box besides the main one. "It's not quite what you think, but it is close. I can't promise you my time, always, nor the undivided

attention you deserve but I can promise you my heart because, well it's always belonged to you, whether you know it or not. At some point, I do want to give you _**that**_

box, but for now will you accept my love in the form of this ring?" Touka choked on the response she thought she had. _What do I say?_ She went through every detail in

her head, from him being gone to her pain to forgiving him and him leaving once more. She wasn't sure she could do that for the rest of her life but he was promising to

her that he wouldn't leave.

_His love_

**_Okay, so here is 8._**

**_Very emotional? _**

_**And slow?**_

_**But, I have big plans for 9.**_

_**Keep your eyes and interests open.**_

_**With love, xoxo.**_


	9. Chapter 9

Maybe Next Lifetime

"I want to be sure &amp; I'm not…" Touka slides the tiny box back across the counter, "I can't accept."

Her face fell in anguish, it was everything she could of asked for all bundled up in the form of a ring but it still wasn't what she wanted.

_Kaneki_.

No matter what she did and what he gave her, it would never be him.

His presence.

His tight grasp on her, holding her.

Never letting go, never _leaving._

That was the one promise he couldn't manage to keep.

She cringed at the thought of him going, especially now that she rejected him.

After a deadly moment of silence, Kaneki finally broke the ice with his broken tone.

"I can't even be disappointed in your answer, Touka. I have earned your distrust. Time and time again, I have failed you. I still love you and I plan to prove myself,

however I have to", he spoke, slowly circling to the other side of the counter where she stood.

His body heat made her un-easy.

Touka knew he was going to close the huge gap the silence caused.

"I'm not giving up on us", Kaneki exhaled as he grasped her wrist, pulling her into an embrace.

Letting her hands unclench, Touka fell into Kaneki's hold, barely holding in tears.

His scent was overwhelming the emotions brewing within her.

A second longer &amp; she would be baring all her vulnerabilities.

Touka tried to pry herself from Kaneki's arms, failing as he pulls her back in &amp; planting his lips to hers.

"I love you, Touka", Kaneki kept repeating as he trailed kisses all over her face, pressing his all into all of her.

She wept, unsure of whether it was sadness or joy that egged on her tears.

Touka dared not to meet his somber expression, hair perfectly blocking.

He felt her discomfort, oozing from her every poor.

Kaneki knew she was avoiding his stare.

She didn't want to cry or hurt anymore, and Kaneki understood that.

He leaned, exhaling slowly into her locks.

Kaneki needed her to believe in him, even if he was knee-deep in

quicksand &amp; they both knew it.

His life wasn't his for the choosing.

_It was someone else's_

And in that moment, they were well aware of that fact

as Kaneki's phone began to buzz.

He pulled the small device from his pocket, staring mouth agape

at the blinking screen.

Before he could even lift his head to explain, Touka had her palm raised.

She had enough for one night.

Kaneki understood, backing way to show himself out.

He took one last look back before seeping into the dim hallway.

The vibrations of him shutting Touka's door, shook her to her very core.

Touka began to free slow breaths, still standing in the comfort of silence that fell over her kitchen.

She turned around once more to the counter, all her attention immediately fixated on that tiny fucking box.

Mocking Touka with every slight sway.

She couldn't lie to herself.

Touka knew what she wanted, the sweet innocent boy with

the beam of hope in his every smile.

Kaneki, working beside her,

bearing the pain of their world with her.

He was there somewhere within.

Just, **_where?_**

**_Okay, my life has been everywhere._**

**_I hope you can all forgive me for the long await._**

**_I do update on my tumblr, if any of you have one._**

**_So, Part 9!_**

**_Xoxo_**


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